Artela Us

Parent-kid relationships…and the other way around

Driving today on the wet streets of a gloomy Bucharest, I was thinking about the subject of the past week and how to intertwine the conclusions of my ideas. For me, the theme started from the parent-child / child-parent relationship – the challenges, healing opportunities and evolution possibilities that occur in such connections. I had the opportunity to perceive the stories of others, not just my own story, and I thank Liana for allowing me to look deeper into the relationship she has with her daughter. I believe that relationships with others provide the chance for self-knowledge and understanding of patterns in which we sometimes block ourselves. Within the family, this is even more intense and fast, as if over our fears and temperamental shouts a magnifying glass would be placed.

I have been asking myself for a while now “why do we come in the X family and not in the Y family?” and 2 years ago I heard, for the first time, about what in astrology is known as lunar nodes. What’s the connection? The more subtle parts of our ego “demand” exactly those experiences that are need for our spirit to evolve and to undertake specific lessons. We grow in the families that fuel our need to evolve. Pleasures and inconveniences are there to mirror what needs to be transformed or refined. In order to make myself more comprehensive, a free spirited child will appear in a family who has to integrate the subject of liberty, or the parents with unpredictable reactions will guide a child who has to give up the obsession of control. All we have to do in the first stage is to listen and to observe… what reactions do we have when communicating with the parent, the brother, the child? What really bothers us and how much does that particular issues exist in our own personality? What inspires us, what do we admire and feel we can use as a resourse for our future?

I, for example, had (and sometimes still have) moments when I felt misunderstood, it seemed to me that there was a gap between my inner vision on life and what some perceived as the outer expression of my vision. I remember long talks with my mother, when I was about 10 years old, expressing my way of perceiving life. I was dreaming then, just as I dream now, to a more open, more united and free world … and I received the answer … “beautiful vision, but utopian … there is no such thing … be realistic!” Years after my innocent “dreams”, I found myself interested in psychology and found out about my the dominant typologies (about the most important I have already written an article, you can read it here ), I came into contact with astrology and I found out about the MC in Aquarius in my natal chart or the North Node in Pisces in house 11, I learned about the feminine archetypes and what the visionary or warrior means. Almost all of them highlighted what I was  communicating at 8-10 years without knowing different self-knowledge techniques. I recently found out something that was very interesting and that brought me clarity. Both my parents have the North Node  in Aquarius … and they have to learn the lesson of freedom, visionary outlook, non-conformist view of life.

Do not you think that only the parents have to learn, I will write to you the challenge that I have to learn from them too. Not long ago, discussing with the wonderful woman that illuminates my understanding of astrology, Nicoleta, I have learned that what I feel so intense and specific to myself … well … I do share with my mother. We talked about what in my natal chart is called a Plutonian or Hades Moon, that is, the union between the Moon and Pluto (both of mine in Scorpio … buhuhuuuu) and while I felt that explains so well why I feel so intensely things that others do not feel the same, hop, Nicoleta says … “but guess who else has the plutonian moon … your mother.” I stared with my big eyes wide open and I wonder what that meant in a more concrete way and the answer was extremely simple … exactly what annoys me and have problems with integrating, is seen as the buttons that we push each other so the confort zone vanishes in order to learn out lessons.

Everyone uses their favorite techniques to discover common family “work” themes. For me, as I have already written, tools such as the Gene Keys, Human Design, Astrology or Archetypes are suited to extract what is “provocative” because we do not always get into deep subjent when in  1-to-1 discussions or because we are not comfortable discussing topics that appear black on white in an natal chart. Obviously, we are not robots and I am saying that truth can be read only in astrology, I think observation, contemplation, communication help – even cherish -understanding and integration.

If we invest attention in clarifying parent-child / parent-child relationships, I think we can place properly many variables that might normally bug us. I think a great challenge for parents is to understand that although the child is their “creation,” he has a unique personality and is not built according to the formula “you have 50% of my personality, 50% of your father’s”, so I recommend you invest energy in really getting to know your child, not to stubbornly support that you already know all about him/her. On the other side of the barricade, I think it is important for the child to understand what his personal values ​​are and what connections he has with his family. It seems fascinating to me how we take “homework” from our grandparents or parents, and I think it would be great to understand how we can help in old matters with our fresh vision, supporting and understanding the family we chose to come into. Fears, anger, joy, passions … maybe many members of our family share ours and discussing them and understanding them, it could help both sides.

Maybe it sounds cliché … healthy relationships with those around us find their roots in the harmonious relationships with our family. So, my dear, if your femininity buzzes, whether it’s too Venusian or too Martian, I invite you to explore your relationship with your mother, I think you’ll find treasures there! And you, dear one, if something buzzes on the male side, take a look at the relationship with your father or grandfather. When you finished sharing the lessons, you might want to exchange the roles, girls learning from fathers and boys from mothers. For proper balance. By understanding, communicating and forgiving, the paths that lead to progress can be cleansed.

For me the theme remains open, I still have a lot of work to do in this sphere. If you are also among those who seek understanding and healing in this segment, you can write to me, either by FB or by mail, in the contact page. I will devote attention and care to the subject that you send to me.

I hug you all, this time especially a warm hug for my parents!